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a 20th yr old gal from the mars. That's all.
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Friday, August 3, 2007, Friday, August 03, 2007
sorry everyone... i found out tat i was actually deceiving myself and everyone including him.. wat i did was i buried everything at my bottom of my heart and force out a cheerful look ytd during the afternoon... i know wing, hx, and alpha all worry abt me so i dun wan them to worry abt me, then i force out a cheerful look... sorry.... u all really think tat is so easy to 4get or get well just after afew days? he is the first 1 whom i really love alot... sorry.. i really cant help.. luckily i ytd maybe too tired and drop dead on the bed as soon as i touch the bed, if not i will be crying to slp again... 爱我最深的人是你，但伤我最深的人也是你. i cant let go of him nw, and i know if i wil to wait 4 him, i will suffer everything myself... bt i know even if i dun wait, he is always no.1 in my heart so is like wait of dun wait, i will still suffer all the pain and hurt... x(( this morn, i went out to have breakfast with my mother and aunty, then when we went home, we found out we didnt bring any keys out and my aunty had gone to work.. so i have to go find her and get the key... which is at orchard road there de OG which is just beside his(KJ) working place... i reach orchard like 10.20, and i make a big round just to see whether is he there and also take a look at the place and imagine he is there if he is not there, n i started crying again... after getting the key, i walk back to his working place again and take a last look before i go back.. waited 4 124, bus came.. every bus got 1 step or 3 steps, the bus i took has 3 steps.. so i took the first step bt miss the second step and i fall down on the surface of the floor... maybe is because all my mind is thinking of him and i didnt notice other things around me... huixin told me to be independent and prove to KJ tat i can live without with him, bt i cant for the time being... really... sometimes i really feel like scolding tat girl bt i know he dun like and wun wan... so wat if i scolded her, nth cannot be undo... u think like typing on a com huh? can undo and edit.... i really miss sec sch life!! where there is nth to worry abt except 4 exams... i miss all my friends and i wan to cry with them... i dun wan cry alone... !! i dun wan! i rather i didnt went for mrs ng english lesson... i rather i stay at home during tat period... i rather not know him even though he let me know wat is love, bt he just hurt me too deep and i cannot get up anymore... maybe if i can endure through this, i will be a stronger person bt i was neva strong.. and i dun think i can endure through it, so i will continue to be the weak shumei... afternoon, aaron pei wo go watch simpsons.. hoping to cheer me up... bt like no use lahz.. then bring a long sleeve white shirt and also the type of dolls which they say it is from roman and different pattern got different meaning like blue colour equal to love or watever.. so i brought 1 which means happiness and i intend to give it to him.. then i went to tcc to buy a orea cake and a mango cake too.. hahaz... then alpha who is wing's friend also a consullor( think spell worngly ba), he came and talk to me... and i know wat i should do lehz... have been feeling nauseous the whole day... |